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But obviously the red flags of Not being in with you, well that one is big. Sounds like you are an emotional crutch for this person.
Being in a very similar position myself, I can where it can be very hard to choose. New relationships are exciting.
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How do you feel about it now? Regarding the perceived affair, it sounds like there was a definite emotional one. Is that as bad as a physical affair? Depends on who you ask. IMHO, yes it is.
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You do need to stand up for yourself though, because there is absolutely nothing in the world you Hot dirty poly love and dating do to keep this person if she cannot make the determination. She knows you, knows the relationship, knows what she had and would continue to have with you you have nothing to add at this point.
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